[Editor's Note: This post is by guest contributor Momal Mushtaq. Momal is a women’s rights activist and an aspiring social entrepreneur from Pakistan. Her work in development and media communications, with focus on youth and gender equality, has been recognized by global awards, including a first place award from the United Nations for her work with women. She writes here about her relationship with freedom and equality, and how traveling is her means to self-growth.]
As I flipped through the recent issue of my favourite youth magazine, flashes of the past illuminated the dusty recesses of my mind, like studio strobes in a television studio. My mind was pulled back into another universe that revolved around a clingy but optimistic and determined 20-year-old who had not figured out her purpose in life. But, as fate had it, the winds of change swept my life in its path, and Life, with her capital letter and dignified simplicity was never the same anymore. It seems that by giving a girl a kaleidoscope, black-and-white Life was doing her bit to usher me into modernity and colour, a whole new world, a world so beautiful that there was no looking back for me afterwards.
Travelling changed my life; it is as simple as that. They
say that you can learn about different cultures by travelling to places, but
travelling taught me more about myself than anyone else. It widened my
perspective; helped me become more accepting of other beliefs, ideologies, and
lifestyles, and most importantly, it taught me to love myself and my body.As I flipped through the recent issue of my favourite youth magazine, flashes of the past illuminated the dusty recesses of my mind, like studio strobes in a television studio. My mind was pulled back into another universe that revolved around a clingy but optimistic and determined 20-year-old who had not figured out her purpose in life. But, as fate had it, the winds of change swept my life in its path, and Life, with her capital letter and dignified simplicity was never the same anymore. It seems that by giving a girl a kaleidoscope, black-and-white Life was doing her bit to usher me into modernity and colour, a whole new world, a world so beautiful that there was no looking back for me afterwards.
Here's how.
A New Perspective on Life
Back in university, like many other girls in my class, a
private van would pick up and drop me off. If I had ever wanted to go anywhere
else, like the shops or the hospital, my father or brother would accompany me
to and from the venue. I thought that was maybe how life is supposed to be. It
is only when I had experienced an alternative way of living that I started
questioning my previous lifestyle. During my time in Canada, Germany and the
US, nobody stared at me or passed nasty comments as I walked by alone. I
could go wherever and whenever I wanted to!
However, when I returned to Pakistan, it began to hurt me
more than ever to realise that the country is sinking below the waterline with
a barrage of social problems hitting her from all directions. From the scourge
of poverty, the stink of corruption, the madness of extremism to what-not!
Almost half of Pakistan’s population -- her womenfolk -- sits back at home, not
because they want to, but because they don’t have a choice. There’s no law
restricting free mobility of women in Pakistan, but the harassment that they
face on streets or while taking public transportation have limited their
movement. Those who can, drive private vehicles, which is rather expensive. Or,
they travel with a male chaperone.
Since I could not take it any longer, I decided to launch
the Freedom Traveller (TFT), an online platform to connect and empower female
travellers, especially from countries where freedom of movement for women is
highly restricted. On TFT, women of all nationalities and beliefs could actively
network, share knowledge and resources, and map their experiences during their
travels. That is the least I could do, considering the resources that I had. I
felt that if women read about other women who are courageous enough to travel
alone in their communities or across borders, other females would be encouraged
to follow suit.
Freedom is an abstract quality that mature minds acknowledge
exists. It is something you can talk, write, or think about, but if you have
not actually experienced it, you cannot feel her essence. I developed a strong
desire to help women experience what it really means to be free because I have
been freed from the grinding restriction of mobility that my life had suffered.
Enabling women to be independent would also have an positive impact on the
country’s economy, too.
I also knew that I could not go about preaching the message
of freedom if I did not practice it myself. That could be the reason why I had
learned to drive -- so I could move about more freely in Pakistan. Occasionally,
I go for a jog and ride a bicycle around my neighborhood but, in my heart, I
know that it is never as comfortable as it is abroad, because every time I
venture out I sense creepy eyes boring into me. But, that is not an excuse to
give up. To change, I have to be the change, the flag bearer of the coming
revolution, the freedom rider of this century!
I have promised to challenge myself every summer for the
next ten years. This year, for instance, I cycled all the way from Muenster to
Aachen, Germany -- some 200km, to be precise! I did it to prove to every female
around the world that there is no one stopping them from achieving their
dreams. The unashamedly ecstatic waves of pleasure I had felt riding a bicycle,
accompanied with a great sense of accomplishment, cannot be simply put into
words. That is why I am not even going to describe it, because you should try
it.
More Accepting of Others
In Pakistan, I lived in a small bubble of my own, a bubble
which revolved around the few individuals to whom I owed my existence. That
bubble has been burst with the injection of travelling. Travelling introduced
me to people from various backgrounds and cultures. I now have friends from all
over the world. It didn’t matter if we
didn’t speak the same language, ate the same food, or wear the same clothes.
Our differences gave big way to our similarities; our diversity connected and
united us. I learned to be more respectful of others, to listen more, and to
talk less.
One of the most beautiful encounters I had included a German
woman named Carina Schmid. We met briefly at an international gathering in
Austria. A year later, she invited me to Germany for an internship at her
organisation. I remembered keeping at a distance from her because I was too
scared to bare my heart to her. Little did I know that “Cari”, as I fondly call
her, would turn out to be my biggest confidante, and my family outside
Pakistan.
Self Love
Travelling holds for me other non-utilitarian benefits, of
course -- it taught me to love myself. The more I travelled, the most I
realised that circumstances change, people come and go, but one thing that
remains unchanged is my relationship to myself. As the old saying goes, “the
more things change, the more they stay the same”. I knew I could never be at
peace with my soul if I lost the emotional tools with which to stabilise this
volatile relationship.
My roommates in the United States, Chenxi and Cheyenne,
fortuitously introduced me to exercise one day. Till then, all I had known
about exercise was that it is a widely-known and practiced phenomenon for
flexing your limbs and maintaining nippy heels. With time, however, it became
an essential part of my life. It taught me to treat my body with the dignity
and respect that it rightfully deserves. I also took up yoga, and felt closer
to myself in ways I could not have imagined before.
Finally, I would like to admit that this journey of
self-discovery has not been easy. The deviations from the regular life path of
a 24-year-old girl of Pakistani heritage in the land of the pure have been
remarkable by any standards of Pakistani society, but if I were to be given a
letter informing me that I were to return to square one, I would burn the
letter! Today, I may be burdened with a lifelong mission of promoting gender equality,
but I am also blessed with a purpose. And as they say, a life without purpose
is, well, pointless.Originally published in Us Magazine on September 5, 2014.
Photos: Janek Bleker and Partha P Roy
